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Greatest Hits of the American Taliban

by My Friend Zero

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a tri-fold album jacket with lyric sheet

    Includes unlimited streaming of Greatest Hits of the American Taliban via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $12 USD or more 

     

  • T-Shirt/Apparel

    Original Chris Bodily (@hatrobot) artwork on Bella + Canvas 3001 shirts. Super comfy and gorgeous design. You will want to be buried in this shirt.
    ships out within 5 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $25 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD  or more

     

1.
The wall is solid now, to keep us safe and sound from the water, to banish all our doubts of our grandeur. There is no innocence in hairless monkey genetics. There is no innocence in physics so elementary. But this is a moral universe's order. That levy broke when that flood approached. We'll patch it up with more denial. Kin of the wind won't you wake from your slumber? Kin of the wind, drive the waves to frenzies that skyscrape the stars above. Kin of the wind, won't you wet the water's own appetite. Let's rinse the hubris off these hopeless naysayers.
2.
Some say when god made the third dimension, she wept longingly into the never-ending night, all alone, sitting on the edge of the void. Some say when god made the earth and ocean, she dipped her weary feet into the never-ending tide, ennui dissolving into reverie. Hey there delicious, you made a decision. With all good intentions, you put oven mitts on. You're caught in a pinch, yeah, the kid in the kitchen. You're killing the best of me. And you crumble to the sound of finite. Hit the bounds I'll round you down. Some say when god made the first comedian, she said, "Yo lady, bless me with never-ending punchlines," and we, the human race began to be. Bury me. I want to see under the mountain, to where it all began. Every atom in this empty human hand.
3.
Western Man 04:40
Specimen A is a ghost town. He's got a proverbial tumbleweed blowing around. In one ear and out the other. Specimen B, a lobotomy right out of mid-century. Go ahead and try to make him blink. In one ear and out the other. Oh well he'll make a good soldier. Oh well here's more cannon fodder. How can you really be so shallow? Let's start a fire (This is not a drill). Flush out the liars. Phallus-centric fallacy. We've got a national erection. We stand up tall for the anthem. We blow our wads really high when things go boom. Hey buddy, if you don't like it then move. We've got a national erection. We stand up tall for the president. When he blows his star-spangled wad we all go boom. Hey buddy, if you don't like it then move. You are my West and I am your Western Man. Your little dick does not allow you to be shallow, callous and a douche. Your prick does not epitomize you. Get to know your human latitudes. She's got an inny, you've got an outy, we've got in between. Who gives a fuck, dude? Shallow!
4.
Our lives are just like stories, farcical rental memories passed down through our cells just like a cult religion. Passed down through the generations, existential masturbation, I grew out of those stories, oh my. If I were the sun, I would announce that there are so many colors you cannot even see in front of your own nose, a kaleidoscope of arrows that swallow up all of space and time. If you were the moons of Jupiter you would say, “Hey, Galileo, is that your telescope or are you happy to see me?” You are not the center of the world. Rise above your ego little girl/boy. Eliminate our anatomy. End this charade of centricity. Our lives are just like stories, archetypal guts and glory passed down through our cells just like a cult B movie. Passed down through the generations, "Plastic Surgery Invasions," I grew out of those stories, oh my. If I were the sun, I would say "Nonsense." The earth is not the center of anything. The gods put me here to explain your planet is an egg that fell off of my merry-go-round. If you were the face of Venus you would say, "Put down your telescope and let's get frisky.” What is written down can be erased. What is thought about can be forgotten. Where do those words and thoughts go? They come to me.
5.
6.
Sorest Loser 05:09
Ralph Nader hop into your hot pink corvette and drive one hundred miles per hour into my billboard sign Cold as ice, your cold hands I am the czar of manufacturing consent I get to pick your choices You're welcome in advance Don't talk about it! What? We bail you out, we own you Nationalize the banks Pull their corporate charters Don't talk about it! We won! Oh Bernie Sanders don your hot pink bow tie and shoes You're dancing with my anti-aircraft gun and I'll play the North Korean blues Cold as ice, your cold hands I am the sorest loser You're vote - my property Behold my campaign slogan, “The lesser catastrophe” Don't talk about it! What? The repeal of Glass-Steagall Don't talk about it! What? Smashing apart the banks Don't talk about it! What? Throw those assholes in prison Don't talk about it! We won! Come out and play I'm here, your destiny
7.
Siren Song 04:31
Swim softly, swim to me Give in to what you want - give it up Swim softly, swim to me Don't see the awful end, sailor boy Listen to me, so soothing a sound You'll feel better when you don't refuse me at all It turns you on, your turn Wet dreams on these stormy seas A little bottle whispers a siren song, "Anything that you want is allowed” "Te amo," it sounds so sweet "Te quiero," it slips so freely Wet dreams, skipping stones, we sink until the bottom loaded down with a smile This anchor is awesome I'd hold my breath till I'm brine Es doloroso porque asi lo deseamos nuestro veneno Es doloroso porque sabe bien bueno
8.
You can read a lot of books until they rot but you've got to face the facts of my life Two wrongs can make a right if it's your own eye for an eye/I believe in not entertaining second thoughts so let's untie the knot I'm not a bit afraid to be the fuse if you will be my match when there's a noose around my.... Only time can reach the line to you These hands have been enabled Someone who calls Ash-shab yurid isqat an-nizam “Tomorrow is the big day The day we've been waiting for I know you're nervous right now, We all want to see this succeed I'd like to tell everyone that this is not the revolution, nor the day that changes it all It's the beginning of the end” -Asmaa Mahfouz Lessons of spring: Down with all kings
9.
You're standing on a moving train, the engine gears accelerate You're standing on a moving train, there's no conductor at the break You're standing on a moving train, best get off before it's too late We got a seat on the front row Why would you ever think it couldn't happen? Why would you ever say, "Never"? If patterns serve only in heaven's two hands, then why on god's earth did she give you a brain? Why? Hey, don't hide away, you were meant to face this crisis Your fate and mine are intertwined Hey, don't hide away, you were meant to face this crisis and on the other side, the sunrise You're standing on a moving train, the number six suicide express You're standing on a moving train, committing death by selfie You're standing on a moving train, best get off before it's too late Haven't you had enough? Where are your manners? History is full of your narcissist errors Why?
10.
Ozone hallelujah Oh no, I don't have the wherewithal This spark will start a fire in a rock It's inevitable, our vertigo To shatter the windows you gotta pull the pin Send us a postcard from Hades' dust bin Won't you save me from what is already caught? Ready or not Your colors are so bold No sensation has ever escaped this Your colors are so bold Gravity's ancient standing ovation Get with the program, you galactic tourist No terra firma could underrate your mass Game over for one intrepid thought Take your apropos fix from the afterglow, satellite Star dust erodes in will-o-wisp hues Even Caesar would fall to his knees in awe Why won't you venture? The door is open, enter "The unknown is a better zero," said an astro-geisha whose flourishes answer when your hopes and destinies pull tautly

about

The kiddie pool of the indie music scene just got a heck of a lot yellower with the release of My Friend Zero's debut album, "Greatest Hits of the American Taliban." Because, unlike the 40% of adults who sheepishly admit to peeing in a public swimming pool, My Friend Zero actually revels in relieving itself on anyone within earshot, with its jarringly catchy form of indie rock piss and vinegar.

My Friend Zero's vocalist, Ian Sherar, puts it this way, “There is so much ambivalence these days regarding threats like climate change or white nationalist extremism, even though they're the ticking time bombs that will usher in a much darker totalitarian future, where dancing and music have been outlawed and sinister gelatin patrol-bots seek and destroy anything that didn't appear in 1950's TV sitcoms - like people of color, women in authority, or even organic frozen waffles. As part of the time-traveling underground resistance, we're here to sound the alarm and correct the course of history, thereby trapping ourselves in a time loop paradox where we'll play a benefit concert for the rest of eternity. That's what My Friend Zero is all about.”

And he means it. Amid the brooding keyboard fuzz and crashing guitars, an energetic urgency hurtles throughout the entire album, insistent that the future is still ours to determine - if we act now.

credits

released October 27, 2020

All songs written and performed by My Friend Zero.

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My Friend Zero Salt Lake City, Utah

My Friend Zero is a classic rock band from the future, comprised of two bro-dudes, a giant eyeball, and a ghost.

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